Weston said something on Sunday morning that really stirred my thoughts, and brought up a battle that I have been waging with myself lately. It was to the effect of:

    "We should have more in common with a believer anywhere in the world, than with a non-believer who lives next door. But you might watch the same TV shows or listen to the same music as your non-believing friends. It makes us think that maybe we should reconsider the things that we watch, listen to and do."

    Okay, so that was the over-phrased paraphrase... but whatever. I'm no William Strunk Jr.

    Ever since the first session of Ozark, I realized what a lame job I do at standing firm. I consider it this way: when my friends joke about sex, drugs, or alcohol, I don't stand up and not laugh or not joke. I know that it's all in jest, but those things aren't really that funny. They are serious issues that a lot of people my age struggle with. What if I spent that time loving those people instead of joking about what they are struggling with?

    Yesterday afternoon I slacked off. I read a lot of my current book, "Brave New World." Then later that night, I looked across the books I was studying out of necessity of time and saw my Bible over on the corner of my desk collecting dust. I realized that I spend my time drudging through what I "have" to do. School, homework, chilling with my friends. It's so boring! I could be in God's Will, and yet I sit on the bench where I put myself with my wastefulness. I'm not a very good steward, you see. What if I powered through, and put my all into my to-do list, so that I could have that time with God?

    But I don't, do I? At least not now.
    But that's why I'm struggling to be a Daniel.

Yeah...I love you.

Maybe I have a lesson to learn.

I know there is more to you than what I see. And you should know that there is more to me than what you see. Maybe you are a lot like me when I am quiet. Maybe there are things that are just waiting to bridge the gaps between us. Why am I afraid?

Are you afraid? Do we really want to know each other's secrets? Will we really be more free?

Maybe there will come a time when we won't be afraid, when there will be nothing between our hearts. Some say that is heaven. Some people say it can be the church, this body we're a part of. But it won't ever be if we keep ourselves from each other without this fear. But who wants to start it all?

Do you know that I love you? And I mean it seriously. It's not the kind where I can just walk away and not think about you; out of sight, out of mind. No, it's definitely not like that. Because, here you are, on my mind. And you're not here with me.

I love you, no matter who you are. Because you are my friend. And this is who I am.

Maybe love really is the answer.

"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." - TWLOHA